*This post is a collaboration*
Being a parent is NOT easy. In fact, when it comes to tough challenges parenting has got to be top of the list. What could be more challenging than raising a child, and ensuring you’re doing it the RIGHT way. Nothing, clearly.
Luckily, you usually have nine months after you find out you’re pregnant to adjust to this new reality. You’ll likely spend that whole time considering what kind of parent you’ll be. At least, you might get a chance to think about that between freaking out and wondering what the heck you’re doing (like me)! It’s all normal, so don’t worry about that. But, you’ll want to take some steps towards considering the parenting methods you’d like to adopt.
There’s just one issue; a lot of that prep goes out the window when you hold that bundle of joy in your arms. Suddenly, you’ll realise everything you thought you knew about parenting was wrong. Don’t be afraid to throw your plans to the wind and just do what feels right. Mother nature is a beautiful thing, and she knows all about ensuring you’ve got this parenting thing covered.
Of course, pure instinct isn’t always the best parenting guide. While it will likely take you far, it can also lead you down the wrong path if you aren’t careful. Of course, there’s no right way to raise a child. It’s all about trial and error and doing what works for your family. But, there are some definite bad habits you should steer well clear of unless you want to become THAT mum. You know the one; she’s unreasonable, a little crazy, and a nightmare to be around. You probably see them all the time and shake your head in despair. But, it’s easy to slip into the nightmare mum role without even noticing it. And, we’re going to look at a few signs that same is happening to you.
Butter wouldn’t melt in your child’s mouth
Is there anything worse than a parent who thinks their child is an angel? Of course, in our ways, we all think this of our kids. That’s natural and necessary. But, most of us are also aware that children aren’t always pleasant, even if they are the loves of our life. If Charlie at nursery said that Louis hit him…well, let’s be honest; there’s every chance it happened! But, not if you’re a butter wouldn’t melt mum. Oh, no. Your little one wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing. It must have been all the other kid’s fault. Say hello to world war mums, and also a spoilt little one who thinks they can get away with anything. Instead of always siding with your child, acknowledge when they’re in the wrong. That’s not to say, of course, that you should jump on them for everything. But, if you’re pretty sure they’ve done something naughty, it won’t do you or them any favours to ignore the issue.
You think the world is too dangerous for your child
We’ve all come across these mums, haven’t we? You know the ones. They force their kids to hold their hands at all times, and won’t let anyone else have a cuddle? Later down the line, they might even get a job as a classroom assistant to keep an eye on things. As their child gets older, their overprotective tendencies may also result in lost opportunities. Perhaps leading to a missed sport’s day because mum didn’t think it was safe. When the teacher arranged something like these Austria school trips for all the other kids in class, THAT mum made a point of NOT signing that permission form. Not her child, no way. The world is a dangerous place. Of course, any parent can relate to feeling like this. If we could keep our kids under lock and key, we would do it. But, we don’t because we realise that experiences like these are crucial. No matter how much you would like to, you can’t hold your child’s hand through life. So, you need to give them the chance to learn while they’re young enough to do it. Otherwise, you’ll end with a child filled with fear and ill-equipped to face life. So, before you stop your child from taking a risk, it’s well worth considering whether you’re taking it a bit too far.
Your child is better than anyone else’s
Again, we all secretly think our child is the best. But, some parents take this too far. They do nothing but boast about their little one. By the end of every conversation, you can only assume this person’s child is some genius prodigy set to make discoveries to rival Einstein. Then you meet said child, and they’re great but, well…they’re a child. No matter how much you think your little one’s latest art piece is gallery standard, you might want to try tone it down, just a bit! After all, setting your child up too much is boring at best for the other parents around you. What’s more, the pressure this brings could be too much for your little one. Nothing’s worse than a parent who sets impossible standards. If you aren’t careful, your child may start to feel like they could never live up to the impression you have of them. And, that’s enough to break any parent’s heart. Instead, know when to draw the line. Keep the praise realistic, and make sure there’s no level of pressure in the way you talk about your little one.
If we’re honest; we’ve all committed each of these sins at some stage. Even as a brand new mum I see myself behaving in ways I never thought I would! In many ways, it comes with the parenting territory. But, if you become THAT mum all the time, your kid’s going to become THAT child. And, no parent wants that.
Do you know any parents like this? Are YOU that mum?